Fear of Hunger
Posted at 14:27 in Personal
I never realised until recently that I have a fear of getting hungry. In the past, being hungry has led me to losing control and bingeing. To combat this, I always made sure I ate every couple of hours to stop myself getting hungry and to also therefore, hopefully, help me stop bingeing. It didn’t work. I still binged. I could eat and eat and eat even until I was fit to explode because bingeing is not related to hunger. It’s a psychological problem and though feeling hungry can make me want to eat whatever I can get my hands on first, it’s not the cause of my binge eating.
I only realised this recently when I read a post by my inspiration, Sheryl aka Ms Bitch Cakes, who wrote a blog post that really struck a chord with me.
As a result of eating every couple of hours, I have actually forgotten what real, true, physical hunger feels like. I rarely feel those gnawing feelings in my stomach telling me I need to eat and as a result of this, I do not know how to eat intuitively – to give my body what it needs, when it needs it.
I’m not sure if this is related to my binge eating, I’m still struggling to understand why I do it. I know I feel a certain comfort when I give in and let go and eat whatever I want so obviously food is being used to comfort me but the puzzling thing is that when I eat like that, I’m not feeling sad or depressed or in need of comfort. I’ve never really been an emotional eater – if I get sad or angry, I don’t automatically reach for the junk food, I’m probably more likely to indulge in a glass of wine so I am still in the dark about what the connection is.
I bought several books about binge eating, comfort eating and breaking the cycle and I’m really annoyed at myself as I’ve not really started to read any of them so I’m starting to work my way through one today.
And for the first time, I have not eaten lunch because it is lunch time. It’s 2.24pm as I write this and I’ve not yet eaten lunch because I have only just started to feel hungry. I’m going to sign off now and make myself something healthy, filling and satisfying for lunch without grabbing at the first thing I can put my hands on, which 99% of the time happens to be something crap.
This is my first step to eating intuitively – wish me luck blog friends!
This post really rings a chord with me too but for the opposite reasons, when I first started trying to get better from my eating disorder I’d completely taught myself not to feel hunger and I just didn’t recognise true hunger anymore. As I started eating more regularly and more food it started to come back and slowly I started to feel huger again and trust that my body needed food instead of doing what I had previously done and ignored the signals so much that my body was conditioned to just ignore them. I think it’s really good that you’re starting to eat intuitively because your body can really start getting what it needs when it needs. I’ve maintained my weight for 2 years eating intuitively so I really think it works.
Good luck!
Thanks for your support Laura, it means a lot to me *hugs*
It’s scary to see just how many women have suffered with some form of eating disorder – it makes me very sad :(
p.s. I just realised I meant either ’struck a chord’ or ‘rang true’… not a strange combination of the two
Glad to have found your blog. I am now following & look forward to reading through your posts. I made a Year 40 pledge to myself to get in the best shape of my life this year (I just turned 40).
http://www.lightlibertyandlearning.blogspot.com/
Hi Denise, thanks for checking out my blog. Well done on making a pledge to get fit and healthy at 40 – I’ll look forward to following your progress
I can really relate to this. I do a thing I like to call ‘preventative eating’ – eating just to prevent possible hunger. I am trying to get out of it but it’s so hard to break the habit! Need to listen to my body and hunger signals more.
That’s what I used to do thinking it was helping me but it really didn’t – stopping hunger just means I’m not listening to my body properly. It’s going to be a tough lesson to learn but I think it’s what I need to do. Good luck at trying too :)
Hi JAG, I’ve noticed I binge eat when I put rules in place. On Monday I set myself a 40 challenge not to eat crap and today I feel utterly miserable at not being able to have cake with my coffee if I want it and guess what I ate two bars of chocolate today and I knew I was on the verge of a binge. Luckily I recognised this and immediately took the rules away and I feel so much better already, I even went for a run after the chocolate which is unheard of, rules and restrictions eventually lead me to binge. Good post, thank you.
Hi Jackie, I can imagine how restricted you feel when you put rules in place – it often has the opposite effect. Luckily, I don’t tend to follow many food rules – I restrict processed/junk foods because I hate how they make me feel but I don’t really class that as a rule.
I say in future, just have the piece of cake with your cuppa :)
Yeah I’ve got to admit the whole “eating every couple of hours” thing as advocated by the Clean Eating brigade has never done me any favours. I also have that “fear of hunger” thing as well!
Oh my god, you’re back! I was really worried about you, so glad you’re online again – I really missed your blog. Can’t wait to catch up with you :)
xx
By the way, the eating every couple of hours thing is NOT a good idea – it doesn’t teach you anything at all.
[...] you will recall recently, I posted about my fear of hunger. I’ve been doing really well at listening to my body and only eating when I am actually [...]
Very happy to read and discover that I am not alone in this!
I am working (gradually) on changing my body composition (fat:muscle ratio) through training and nutrition – but I am now in the ‘eat every two hours or panic’ cycle. I haven’t felt physically hungry for a long time and my fear of it has grown a lot over the last few months. Its reassuring to know that other women are dealing with similar issues.. I think its time to begin to face the fear! Thanks for your blog.
Hi Tori and thanks for the kind comment. It’s a real scary thing to let yourself get hungry, eating every couple of hours is something I did religiously for about a year, so scared was I of leaving a too long gap in between meals/snacks – the husband really hated it as we could never really do anything spontaneous as I was always worried about my next due meal. I hope you manage to overcome your fear too.
xx